I Need to Say This, Episode 1: Beyonce Knowles Writes Songs Like she has a Speech Impediment

The title pretty much says it. My buddy Garrett and I were talking about popular music like we do, and talk came to Beyonce's hot hit single "Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)". After talking about the crazy-ass dance (Garrett and I now shake around pointing at our ring fingers to EVERY song on the radio), we talked about her lyrics, and let me tell you, kids. No other songwriter right now is as repetetive as Mrs. Hova.

Observe some lyrics from the aforementioned song:

All the single ladies (All the single ladies)
All the single ladies (All the single ladies)
All the single ladies (All the single ladies)
All the single ladies

Another part:

Cuz if you liked it then you should have put a ring on it
If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it
Don’t be mad once you see that he want it
If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it
whoa oh ooh, oh oh ooh, oh oh ooh, oh oh oh
whoa oh ooh, oh oh ooh, oh oh ooh, oh oh oh

Now, I'm sure you're saying to yourself, "Oh, but that's just the hook. That song is pretty much just a hook over and over. Her other stuff ain't like that. Lindsey is straight trippin'." But NO! Here's some lyrics from "Crazy In Love":

Got me lookin' so crazy right now
Your love's got me lookin' so crazy right now (your love)
Got me lookin' so crazy right now
Your touch got me lookin so crazy right now (your touch)
Got me hoping you page me right now
Your kiss got me hoping you save me right now
Lookin' so crazy your love's got me lookin' got me lookin' so crazy in love

Jesus Christ. Got me effin' dizzy is what you've got me lookin' like right now. How about when she was writing shit for Destiny's Child?

I don't think you ready for this jelly
I don't think you ready for this jelly
I don't think you ready for this
Cause my body too bootylicious for ya babe
I don't think you ready for this jelly
I don't think you ready for this jelly
I don't think you ready for this
Cause my body too bootylicious for ya babe

OH MY GOD.

I'm not saying she's a horrible songwriter (though if I walked into rehearsal with a song like this the boys would think I was crazy), her shit is OFF DA HOOK, but girrrrrrl sho' do like her repeatin'. Sho' like, sho' like, sho' like her repeatin'-peatin'-peatin'.