I Draw At Work, Episode 3: Parrototter Otterparrot

This is #3 of 5 of those things I did for Annie T. and have yet to give her:



I have no idea why they're partying...it must have been someone's birthday. Usually when someone has a birthday there is cake, and when there is cake, it's always a party. Don't question me on this fact. ALWAYS.

I Need to Say This, Episode 1: Beyonce Knowles Writes Songs Like she has a Speech Impediment

The title pretty much says it. My buddy Garrett and I were talking about popular music like we do, and talk came to Beyonce's hot hit single "Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)". After talking about the crazy-ass dance (Garrett and I now shake around pointing at our ring fingers to EVERY song on the radio), we talked about her lyrics, and let me tell you, kids. No other songwriter right now is as repetetive as Mrs. Hova.

Observe some lyrics from the aforementioned song:

All the single ladies (All the single ladies)
All the single ladies (All the single ladies)
All the single ladies (All the single ladies)
All the single ladies

Another part:

Cuz if you liked it then you should have put a ring on it
If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it
Don’t be mad once you see that he want it
If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it
whoa oh ooh, oh oh ooh, oh oh ooh, oh oh oh
whoa oh ooh, oh oh ooh, oh oh ooh, oh oh oh

Now, I'm sure you're saying to yourself, "Oh, but that's just the hook. That song is pretty much just a hook over and over. Her other stuff ain't like that. Lindsey is straight trippin'." But NO! Here's some lyrics from "Crazy In Love":

Got me lookin' so crazy right now
Your love's got me lookin' so crazy right now (your love)
Got me lookin' so crazy right now
Your touch got me lookin so crazy right now (your touch)
Got me hoping you page me right now
Your kiss got me hoping you save me right now
Lookin' so crazy your love's got me lookin' got me lookin' so crazy in love

Jesus Christ. Got me effin' dizzy is what you've got me lookin' like right now. How about when she was writing shit for Destiny's Child?

I don't think you ready for this jelly
I don't think you ready for this jelly
I don't think you ready for this
Cause my body too bootylicious for ya babe
I don't think you ready for this jelly
I don't think you ready for this jelly
I don't think you ready for this
Cause my body too bootylicious for ya babe

OH MY GOD.

I'm not saying she's a horrible songwriter (though if I walked into rehearsal with a song like this the boys would think I was crazy), her shit is OFF DA HOOK, but girrrrrrl sho' do like her repeatin'. Sho' like, sho' like, sho' like her repeatin'-peatin'-peatin'.

Proof I am an Adult, Episode 2: Jim Beam Black, Don't Ever Go Away.

I really appreciate a good small bottle of Jim Beam Black. I then appreciate smuggling it into the Cubby Bear and drinking it with a friend. I then appreciate people documenting my behavior on the internet, which I immediately forward on to my mother, just so she knows how much of a good clean fun time I'm carefully having:



I then appreciate my mother sending me back an email saying I look vaguely like Jim Carrey (my hero since the age of 9). Mom knows all the right things to say.

My Weird-Ass Band and its Weird-Ass Everything, Episode 2: Bling-Blingin' Salinger Squid

Ryan left me to do a flyer all by myself. This happened:

I have this odd fascination with J.D. Salinger's head. I was going to make a comic strip at IU about him and it was just going to be his head hovering above me, telling me to do horrible things. Sadly, it never happened (but it could!), so I made him a squid that stays flashy 'til the day that he die. Word.

I'm more than sure that Salinger's up in heaven somewhere thinking to himself, wow. someone down there really loves me.

(Also I have this odd fascination with pretending that he's already dead.)